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When we talked about gender identity today in class, and hit on the topic about males dressing in dresses and playing with dolls and girls playing sports and with ‘boys’ toys, I asked myself why people think its wrong at such a young age for a boy/girl to play or dress the opposite sex that they are. I think it’s the parent that fears what the child will become when they grow up and think that by stopping certain behaviors they are helping the child by conforming to societies rules. I think a lot of parents believe that if their little boy plays with dolls, he will grow up to be gay, and if he grows up to be gay, by today’s standards, he will be persecuted against. When in actuality, in my opinion, it’s just self exploration of a child, and does not necessarily mean they are going to be gay/lesbian (Of course there is nothing wrong with that). For example, a little boy can play with a kitchen set, but it will be considered unacceptable behavior for a boy because he will grow up to be gay. That same little boy can grow up to be a chef and work in a kitchen, and it will be accepted by society. Or a little boy that likes to dress up a lot can grow up to be an actor. Same with a little girl that plays a bunch of sports and doesn’t give dolls the time of day. A parent can worry that little girl will grow up to be a lesbian. That same little girl can grow up to be an Olympic Athlete and it will be acceptable. Why is it so unacceptable for this behavior when they are young when self explanation is vital in this period of the child’s life?
I think it’s important as parents and teachers to put our views aside, or change our views, that have been installed in us since we were young, in order to allow the a child to grow, develop, and understand their sexual identity in a healthy way.
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Hey Ashley,
I absolutely agree that it is the parents who take this to another level. The average parent just automatically assumes that a boy playing with dolls or playing dress up will be gay and that a girl who likes to play “boy” sports will be lesbian. I have a brother who is 4 years my senior and we played together a lot. He never played with my dolls but I played sports with my male cousins and him all the time, especially football. I played football with them until I graduated high school but I am not a lesbian. My parents were in no way against me playing sports with my brother and cousins and they even encouraged it. So I definitely think that it is the parents who hinders a child’s understanding of gender roles.